by Robin Mitzcavitch, Director of Religious Exploration
But how can I really know if I’m just spinning my wheels? Or not. Why is it so hard to keep going without seeing the tangibles lining up? Get ready, because this article is loaded with questions, just like me.
I guess it’s all about trust. In my world it’s not trusting that someone else will save me, or that I’ll hit the lottery, or that if I’m good enough, good things will happen to me. In my world, I have to trust in myself.
When I wake up in the morning, pre-dawn, and I don’t really need to be getting up, my brain begins to cycle through: plans for the day, the week, what to worry about, how to solve a challenge, etc. This is also the time of the day in which I have my best ideas. My most hopeful goals begin bubbling up. This is lovely. This is why I can hop out of bed and get moving. I want to create something new, start a new group, class, art project, crusade. And my energy flows outward, with the sure intention that everyone will want to hop on board and ride with me on my magical vision board. And… when I realize that perhaps I’m in a vacuum, and that I’m the only one really getting thrilled about an idea; I stop. I have to ask the question: if I put my energy and effort into this idea, and it goes nowhere, can I trust that my effort was somehow “worth it.?”
It’s about the process, the journey….not the destination, or the outcome. Can I buy into that train of thought and stay motivated? Can I trust that those words are true, at least, for me? Oh boy, I try to…daily, hourly, you know, I try.
Remember “Field of Dreams?” They told me, if you build it, they will come. Do I trust that? Well I sort of have to, because I’m really not going to stop dreaming. But when you plan the party and no one shows up, it really hurts. I like to tell myself that something I did impacted one person and made their life good…even if that one person is me. I try to trust that this will always feel true, but honestly, sometimes it just doesn’t.
So all of you out there fighting the fight for yourself, for your salary, for your country, for marginalized people, for the arts, the sciences, the universe … .trust that it’s worth it. What’s the alternative? I don’t want to see the alternative…that ugly word : apathy. Let that word not settle on any one of us. Trust that there’s a critical reason that something gives you a spark of energy. I believe that spark is there to set you on the journey, building something, using your good and creative effort, dreaming about a better way, or a way to keep a good thing going. It’s meant for you, and maybe to inspire just one other. Forget about the numbers, the masses, the viral post on social media. Trust that what makes you walk forward on your unique path, with determination, is always worth the effort.
If we always know what happens next, we lose the joy of surprise, serendipitous experiences, and the excitement that comes from anticipating the unknown. Friends, let us gather with open, curious hearts, ready to explore the unpredictable, trust its wisdom, and embrace its beauty. ~Krista Flanagan